this moment

this moment} – A Friday ritual inspired by SouleMama.

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

and just like that

It is over. The Wedding. Done.

Breathtaking....joy....pure happiness.....

A friend of Erinn's captured her as she walked down the aisle with her Dad. Her smile could not have been bigger or brighter

Andrew beaming as he watched his Bride walk towards him

The children being escorted by their parents, clutching hands, a pillow covering eyes. Too precious for words

Parker and Nick (Andrew's young cousins) beaming in their tuxes handing out the programs

The flowers were delicious as was the cake

The white draping around the gazebo flowing in the breeze as were the giant blue pom-pom flowers flowing from the arbor

The sashes tied in bows facing the aisle (Thank you Ashley)

The hand painted signs (Thank you Elizabeth)

The photo corner with the fake mustaches, glasses and top hat

The violist and cellist playing the theme from Sleeping Beauty as the beautiful bridal party walked down the aisle

Dancing under the stars

Granny's silver

The Bride's dress and blue satin shoes at the end of the night, dirty from dancing the night away

As I said Breathtaking......

Peace Out

this moment

{this moment} – A Friday ritual inspired by SouleMama.

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

One Week

One week from today I will open my eyes to all 3 of my daughters married. Wow!!! The babies are all grown up. They have college degrees (one with her masters), good jobs in and outside the home. More importantly they have chosen someone to spend their lives with. And they have chosen well. Their Dad and I could not be happier with their lives. We tried to raise them to utilize the gifts they have been given. We loved them, nurtured them. We have always supported them in all that they chose to be. At times we would squeeze our eyes shut and pray really hard that the tools we taught them would prevail. I think one of the biggest gifts we gave them was to see who they really are and accept them with all the love in our hearts. I love them all so much. It makes me so very happy that they are friends. They want to be in each others lives. They support one another. They are able to discuss their differences without harsh words. This next week being with my girls, their spouses, their children and extended family will be my Christmas.

Peace Out

Dishwasher NOT!!!!!

Sooo.....you are over at your friend/family for a meal. You want to help with the clean-up. Awesome!!!! Love it!!!! BUT....

*pots/pans in dishwasher NOT

*silver flatware in dishwasher NOT

*antique family glassware in dishwasher NOT

*really expensive knives in dishwasher NOT

*antique china in dishwasher NOT

*oh and that digital meat thermometer in the dishwasher NOT!!!!!

but other then that Thank You very much. :)

Peace Out

Change

You know you want change to happen.

How do you go about it?

Baby steps, giant steps?

Loudly, silently?

Patiently, impatiently?

Is it enough just to know inside yourself?

Just for today I..........

Peace Out

Counting down days

The first day of the November

1 day until the election madness is over

2 days until Hudson turns 3!!!!!!!!

4 regular college game days left

22 days until Thanksgiving company arrives

23 days until Erinn's golden birthday

25 days until Thanksgiving

27 days until Randy's birthday

37 days until wedding company arrives

41 days until THE WEDDING

Oh yeah, 55 days until Christmas

Peace Out

MOB

MOB...Mother of the Bride.....needs a dress......you know when you have in your mind what you want and just cannot find it.....the right color....size....style.....and let's not forget shoes...heels, flats, peep toe, round toe, square toe, embellishments...and what about a wrap...scarf, bolero, long sleeve, 3/4 sleeve......and of course the bride needs to approve (not that I mind that part as the bride is my go to fashion girl)....oh and wait just a minute you need the perfect purse to go with it. Back to the internet (my favorite mall)

Oh and did I mention I hate shopping for clothes??

Peace Out

Debbie Downer & Negative Nancy

Debbie Downer & Negative Nancy - Stay away!!!!!

I have always been the glass is a half full kind of girl. I try to see the positive in all things. I feel I do a really good job in seeing people for who the are and accept them. Do people start out being negative/down? Genetic or Environment? These are people that are not living a bad life just seem to be stuck in this this stuff?!?! I know depression plays a huge role in this but.....This is getting too hard for me to deal with. I do know I try to "fix" it and of course come off "all know it all" which in turns causes more stress for Debbie & Nancy. I get annoyed and come across annoyed as it is really hard for me to hide my feelings (surprise surprise). So I am stuck in how to handle it, pouring the big old glass of wine and talking to them on the same day in the same hour just does not seem to be very productive. I am so stressed from listening, fixing and trying so hard to be tolerant, I in turn take it out and bitch about it with others. So as I cannot remove these people from my life what is a girl to do? ( I am really sick of being patient as this is not another strong characteristic of mine)

Peace Out

this moment

{this moment} – A Friday ritual inspired by SouleMama.

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

(I cheated on this one, Carey took the photo)

Peace Out

look......

You are sitting in a room, suddenly someone gives you the shush look.

what did I say?

am I too loud?

said something they feel is inappropriate?

sitting in a dress with uncrossed legs?

spinach in my teeth?

my tone not just right?

so much to live up to other peoples standards.......

it makes me tired....not good enough......

Peace Out

this moment

{this moment} – A Friday ritual inspired by SouleMama.

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Having it All

Have you ever had one on those weeks. You know the spinning of your wheels, staying busy with stuff yet nothing seems to get done. That is my life. On my days off from my assistant job (M & W) I get up at 5, work out (shh Erinn), work at the salon, come home, talk to Brenna, walk dogs, go to the gym and it is noon for the love of God!!! Now on to to the housework, laundry, yardwork, home projects, afternoon nap and of course the biggest issue of the day and it happens every day "What to have for dinner"!!!!! When does a girl have time to shop? I used to shop a few times a week, not BUY just shop. And then the mani/pedi day (tomorrow @ 4). Let us not forget the waxing!!! Thank goodness I get my hair done at work. And what about lunch with the girls, why are we not making time for that?? And the phone calls!!! I work in a customer driven industry, I make nice all day. I have so much background noise the last thing I want to do when I come home is more noise!! (with a few exceptions :) ) And yet....what is a women to do? After all I am from the generation who thought they could have it all, all of the time. What a load of crap that was!! I am still waiting for enough hours in a day to achieve that concept. I have company filling my house next week for Erinn's shower and I am really feeling no pressure. I have decided clean bathrooms and minimal dog hair is good enough. My baseboards need some touch up but I say f**k it. I have it all after all.

Peace Out

A click of a button

I have spent several hours this week going through pictures, organizing, scanning. This is a very time consuming job. I only have a gazillion more to do. In today's digital world picture organization is so much more efficient. But at what cost? Clicking a button on a computer does not produce the same warm fuzzy touchy feeling one gets sitting in an uncomfortable position leafing through stacks of photos. Sure the photos are organized and the quality is far superior. But yet.......

Elizabeth and Erinn, age 3

Peace Out

Higher Standard

In elementary school teachers will put a child who is is task orientated next to a child who at times is disruptive in order to help keep calm in the classroom. In a sense you are holding the "good" child to a higher standard. While not even asking the "good" child if they want this responsibility they know the "good" child will do his/her part. Although I understand why they do this, I really really do not like this practice. In life do you hold some people to a higher standard? Expect more from them? In my life I try hard not to, of course I do fail at times.

Lately at times I feel I am that "good" child and I am not sure I like it one bit.

Peace Out

this moment

{this moment} – A Friday ritual inspired by SouleMama.

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Identity and a pet peeve

For a long time I have struggled for my blog to have an identity. Do I continue to write about my life's happenings? ( between me and the lamppost not a lot goes on) I can go on and on about my beautiful 4.4 grandchildren which are by far the most amazing human beings on the planet second only to their mothers. Or I could talk about the things that make me happy, sad, angry and perplexed. There have been times when I rethink posting something in fear of making someone hurt, angry, sad. But....I think I am not a mean person, I try not say mean things to people BUT if I do I am first up to apologize for my words/actions. I am first and foremost accountable for my own actions. So I have decided to combine all of that and then some. I will continue to bore people with the truly spectacular things/sayings/actions my grandchildren do/are. But I have decided to also talk about thinks that I like/love/dislike/detest in my life. It helps to get it off the chest so to to speak.

You are in a small group of people and then it happens. The whispered conversations. The 2 and sometimes 3 people put their heads together for perhaps a word or two. And BAM!! All you can think about is what are they saying, of course you think "Why am I so unimportant and invisible they would do this to me?" Do they not realize you see them? Now chances are they are saying NOTHING about you. But your brain starts going. You start the mental inventory. I cannot stand this!! I find this so unforgivably rude it blows my mind. I try not to do this, if someone leans into me I will answer in a normal speaking voice. In a large noisy group you need to do the lean in and whisper but in a quiet small group. I think not. I believe sometimes people do this to show you (me) how important they think they are. Look at me I have a close friend that whispers to me. We have important things to discuss and frankly you are just not worthy. I try not to let this get to me. But it does. The easy solution is not to be around these people, but you like them. And of course that makes you wonder why. Why would you choose to be around whisperers? Why indeed?

Peace Out

100 days - so much to do

As I came in the door this morning, Erinn informed me we have under 100 days to the wedding. 100 days seems like a long time but I know it will be here before we know it. We are about 90% finished with the preparations. We are still figuring out what part of the decor we will be taking care of. We ordered some branches, we need to order the table toppers. I love the idea we are using family pieces for the flower containers. The silver from Granny Bennett will add such a loving touch. She catered weddings, made wonderful cakes. A gift to be shared for Erinn's day. We need to make the giant pom-pom flowers for under the arbor. Where to hang them until the day? I need to find a dress. And what kind of dress? What color? I am printing the invitations to Erinn's shower today, Ashley found just the right ones. Setting the tone for the tea. 2 showers, 2 weekends. The bridal luncheon, thank goodness I have a chef for a son in law. And a great friend who is hosting.

**invites are printed, Ashley, Sheree & Mary (Kim & Rosie are adding their touches!!) are planning such a special afternoon for Erinn. Families are wonderful. It is amazing what comes from love.

**We finally figured out what to put in the clear containers to add a little touch to the bare branches. We are trying really hard not to have "throw away" center pieces. And we are accomplishing that goal!!!

Peace Out

Connected

I love driving 2 hours to see Carey, Stephanie and the trio. I love walking down the hall to see Erinn. I love talking to Brenna at least twice a day on her daily commute. I love staying connected to my girls. Life is good.

Peace Out

this moment

{this moment} – A Friday ritual inspired by SouleMama.

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Peace Out

Weekend in Virginia

While in Virginia this past weekend we took many family pictures. At one point the day of the wedding we (5 Schuelke kids) were gathered around our Mother and at that moment I wondered if this would be the last time we were all together with our parent. It took my breath away, a moment of sadness. 8 years ago at Ashley's wedding we were all together for the first time since our Dad died. Too much time.......

Sheree, Ashley and I hit up a few stores on Friday before the rehearsal dinner. Jim outdid himself on the food, yummy brisket and a yellow potato salad. We were lucky that the food got there at all since the men folk (Randy, Dago & Jeff) got totally lost. I mean 2 hours driving around VA lost. And the only smart phone in the car was dead. So who do they call??? The other 2 people who do NOT live there!! We told them the name of the road the sub division was on, but do they stop and ask someone??? Of course not. They chose instead to buy a car charger for the smart phone to get the GPS off it. Men!!

The morning of the wedding we were at IHop (my first time) Jackson gobbled up eggs and tried to hit his Mama in the face with his fork. The weather was so nice, only in the mid eighties with low humidity. The rifle range was really cool especially knowing the body farm was around there someplace. If only the guys would have let us explore a bit. Something about restricted areas. Gary looked great in his dress blues walking Jessie down the aisle. We had fun at the reception in spite of the fact Ashley went and drank most of my bottle of wine from the car. It was a cash bar at the reception so....... Since we are in the midst of planning a wedding it is nice to see where other people put their wedding dollars.

Sunday we went and toured the Mall and the Monuments in DC. Every time I see them it takes my breath away, so magnificent. We had a little birthday party for Jackson Sunday evening.

Monday we were back in the car again. We saw 2 horrific accidents so please drive safe and WEAR seatbelts.

Peace Out

this moment

{this moment} – A Friday ritual inspired by SouleMama.

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Peace Out

Wedding Heat

We are heading north next week to the much anticipated wedding of my nephew James to his girl, Jessie. It should be a fun and HOT affair. The ceremony will be held outside and from what I understand the reception will also be outside. This area of Virginia is having a very warm summer. I am hoping for a cold front dropping the temperature to about 80 degrees and not a drop of humidity. Now with both my older daughters having been married outdoors (and Erinn soon to be) this has gotten me thinking. Weather and how it affects us. Carey's wedding on Kauai was wonderful, the waves crashing on the shore, a delightful breeze, the ukulele sounds, the soft voice of the officiant was in direct contrast to the huddled shivering masses at sister Sheree's wedding on a different beach. I LOVE the gulf beaches, there are no prettier but damn it was cold that day. It was like hurry up and get it over with. We need to get out of this wind. Brenna's ceremony was outdoors facing the Tetons, a magnificent view. It was held on a warm summer day in Wyoming. While at times it was difficult to hear the words spoken just being in such surroundings really did not require any words. This was a magical place. Erinn's wedding is in December, a great month in Orlando. We have very little rain, the temps are in the high 70's and little humidity except for last year. Record rain and record low temps for the month of December. Yikes, this makes me nervous. We are using a huge chunk of the reception budget for a "just in case" tent. Good thing dancing warms you up. I have a feeling there will be lots of dancing at that one. :) So back to James's wedding as I am standing there glistening (thank you Elizabeth) I will think back to my own wedding in a church (what a novel concept), to the beach on Kauai, the Grand Tetons of Wyoming and remember how wonderful love is and that this is why we are standing here. (I will of course have a battery operated fan under my dress)

Peace Out

this moment

{this moment} – A Friday ritual inspired by SouleMama.

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Peace Out

Communication

Communication is a learned skill. I at times (mainly with the husband) interrupt him thinking I know what he going to say. I will then answer a non asked question. Who likes to be interrupted? Not me for sure, but yet this is an annoying habit. There have been some communication issues in the extended family of late. If people "think" they heard something, go to the person whose mouth it came out of and I don't know, ask them!!! Most people at the end of the day will pony up and say what they said. Of course there a few peeps out there who will always cover their a#s and deny deny deny. I really have little patience with this group. Own what comes out of your mouth and if you f##k up say so. I mean what is the worse that can happen? No one has ever died eating a little crow. And then there is the 10 second rule (one that I wish I would follow more), wait 10 seconds before you respond. Let us stop the "he said she said" form of communication. Let us listen with our heads. And if you think you are hearing something different that what is actually being said. ASK the the person doing the talking. Most do not resent being asked to clarify what they have said.

"the words written here are my opinion, I mean after all this is my blog"

Peace Out

Ryan Fun Facts

* Thanks to Tom & Susan we are having a love affair with Hanover County, VA tomatoes

* The wall in the hallway & the floor are still not finished

* Our grass in the front yard looks great but what the hell happened to the back?

* Jack has consumed 4 pairs of Victoria Secret thongs since Erinn has moved back in

* I want to repaint the den

* Planning a wedding is fun, it does not need to be stressful, we are enjoying the process

* I LOVE Jersey housewives, Randy on the other hand detests them

* Every now and then we miss having a cat

* I have begun running again

* Our garage is in need of a total makeover

* Randy enjoys comparing the size of things to the size of vegetables & fruit

* We love Friday Night Lights, such a quality show so I guess it will not last much longer

* Yes, we do screen our calls and I sometimes make the choice not to answer

* We both are addicted to our smart phone/ipod touch

* We really did not enjoy having 5 dogs in the house at once, walking them was a bit much in this heat

* I enjoy seeing Randy relax which does not happen often

* I need to reintroduce myself to my hobbies and Randy needs to acquire one

* Our study is still not finished (crown molding & hiding the wires)

* We do not have a perfect life but is a good one, I am glad we stuck it through :)

Peace Out

this moment

{this moment} – A Friday ritual inspired by SouleMama.

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Peace Out

Mothering

The other day at the salon while washing a client's hair she suddenly asked me how I dealt with the change of mothering when the last one leaves. I replied how hard it was, how I came home every day and just laid on the sofa. It took me several weeks to realize I was depressed. Not just missing the physical presence of Erinn but the daily mothering. It was my life, who I was, what I always wanted to be. I liked the monotony of the daily stuff. I really enjoyed the early years, the babies cuddling. I never really got annoyed at the crying, just tried to figure it all out and hold the sweet things. The toddler years were challenging until you figure it out, let the child lead the way. I liked being a volunteer at the schools. My sense of self grew while helping another child figure out the wonder of words. I liked spending hours making their environment better. The teenage years were different with each one, at times challenging. The constant changing of self of one of them trying to figure out their self was heartbreaking at times to watch. Watching your child stumble is no fun but also a necessary part of growing up. Just like watching a toddler put a puzzle together, they also need to learn how to put their life together. I was not a perfect Mother. I was their Mother. My heart grows warm today when I see my daughters take (what I think) the best part of my mothering and adding their own twist and mothering their own children. They are different Mothers but yet the same as they teach and watch and nurture their own. Whether they realize it or not they are already beginning the process of letting go.

Peace Out

this moment

{this moment} – A Friday ritual inspired by SouleMama.

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

this moment

{this moment} – A Friday ritual inspired by SouleMama.

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

this moment was taken several years ago, Tom has been on mind as we approach Father's Day, I will always remember these men in this moment

Snakes, Wasps & Dragon Flies

Almost jumped into the pool on Sunday, it was hot!! But then Jack's tail hit my glass while trying to get a sago palm frong that he thought was a snake. Or maybe it was the wasp and or dragon fly that was circling the patio. The moment passed. I do think I want to try and use the pool more. With the kiddos arriving I think that will happen. A word of advice, look for pool homes when the sun is actually shining to make sure your pool is in the sun especially when they are under a screen enclosure. ****news alert**** Randy actually threw away the old grill. This was a huge deal for him. The hammock & stand also hit the streets. I just never got into the hammock on the stand thing. I want my old hammock back between the post under the lanai. {sigh}

We had some yummy grouper last night with a pineapple/mango salsa. I had a hankering for sea bass but have you seen the price of sea bass?? Yikes!!

World Cup soccer is great to watch but hard on the ears. What is is up with that annoying noise?? Word on the street is that they are passing out ear plugs as the sound is even louder and more obnoxious in the stands.

Peace Out

{this moment}

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Peace Out

June and all that Jazz

Things are rolling right along in the Ryan household. Well maybe not exactly rolling, we do tend to hit a few bumper pads now and then. We went from embracing (complaining about) the cold to the heat and HUMIDITY of summer. Man it has been sucking the life out of me.

The Emmerton's of the Virginia branch of the family are coming down for Ashley's Birthday (yeah Publix B-day Cake) Sooo....projects need to be completed. Summer pillows need to be finished, porch ceiling needs to be painted, screen enclosure needs to be pressure washed by the professionals and I need to pressure wash the lanai and driveway. I wish the hallway could be finished but as they say Rome was not built in a day. Oh yea all the silver needs to be repacked so the darling Jackson does not play with it. Or just hand him a polishing rag. :-) These tasks must be done or the brew haha in the fam will begin.

Erinn is looking for a job like a real one. You would think they would come knocking on her door as she is a Florida Gator. I think she should put on her resume that she had a class with Tebow and he actually had a personal conversation with her. But nooo she has like college and work experience. What about homecoming queen, she should still be able to get some traction out of that. She is so bright and personable (and really great hair) I know she will be successful.

We are getting quite the jalapeño crop this year. Quite spicy. Our tomatoes were put in the ground a little late so we have just had 2 thus far. A huge gardening decision needs to be made, where to plant the hydrangeas, they need to go in the ground. ??????

Peace Out

this moment

{this moment} – A Friday ritual inspired by SouleMama.

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, extraordinary moment.

A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Memorial Weekend recap

* put down 15 bags of mulch in the front beds, need 15 more (this was done in a light misty rain)

* edged, mowed front & back yards (done by Randy in a rapidly approaching thunderstorm)

* shocked and scraped pool (in a light rain)

* walked dogs between storms

* finished a great book while listening to the rain on the skylights

* hung out with Erinn on her bed looking at wedding ideas

* enjoyed a wonderful Monday afternoon with Tom & Susan hanging on the lanai, it was a delight just chatting and hanging, so relaxing

* ate awesome ribs prepared by Randy, potato salad prepared by Charlie (friend of Toms), avocado, sweet onion, cilantro & lime salad (Carey makes this, it is yummy), corn on cob & strawberry shortcake

* finished the evening cleaning up the kitchen while a raging thunderstorm passed by

* commiserated with Toby over wearing of a cone, he keeps digging on his sweet belly

* spoke with Brenna & Hunter over the excitement of the new pool & Brenna's awesome straight sewing lines

* skyped with the Cali Ryan's so Kate could "watch" Gamma & Papa

* a totally great weekend

Peace Out

this moment

this moment – A Friday ritual inspired by SouleMama.

A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week.

A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

I am "borrowing" this idea from Carey. I love the idea and it will force me to document more of my life in photos. Thank you Carey & SouleMama.

Peace Out

A Day at the Beach

We went to Playalinda Beach on Sunday. (The beach by the shuttle launch site). This is my all time favorite local beach. No high rises, no cars on the beach, a potty to use. It is so peaceful. Since the parking is controlled the crowds are rarely out of control.
I dug my feet in the sand, my all time favorite beach activity.
Randy walked on the beach and frolicked in the water.
We spent a fare amount of time when not gazing at the water we gazed at the dunes. The dunes are so pretty here. The storms have been kind to them.
And when we got home we got to clean all the love bugs off the car.

A good day.

Peace Out

Grains of Happiness

If you are ever in Charleston and are lucky enough to do the Harbor Club for brunch, stop by the ladies room and clean up using this luscious scrub. Or stop by my guest bath.

Peace Out

A Favorite View

When you look out the kitchen window at Carey & Stephanie's house this is what greets you. Stunning, the way the morning sun shines on them makes them magical. I will miss them.

Peace Out

Thoughts from the Weekend

*Elizabeth's graduation was wonderful, outside under the oak trees, a soft summer breeze, beautiful young women in sun dresses, men of all ages in seersucker (I am a sucker for males of all ages in seersucker), bag pipers & drums, traditions of a small college.......very southern.

*no one makes sweet tea like South Carolinians

*creamy grits

*cobblestone streets

*Time Warner Cable #%$@!!

*I saw my first corn hole game

*sleeping past 6 am and no vacuuming

*no dogs :(

*found my patience (well okay I did lose it a couple of times)

*made a solemn vow that if my hearing goes as I get older I will not be vain about it and wear the damn hearing aids and oh yea turn them up

* appreciates my husband

*always double check guest bath shower to make sure it is working properly

*not being surprised by SIL

*missing my dogs

*seeing old friends and new friends like they are old friends

*artwork

*the freshness and the optimism of the 20 somethings

*Andrew Styron in his white shirt, crisp seersucker pants and sunglasses.....he reminds me of a horse at the gates itching to get started on his life

*seeing my friend, Nancy being joyful

*spending time with my MIL and realizing this is good (I have known it but I truly get her)

*I like my life :)

*This picture has nothing to do with this weekend except it reminds me of Charleston and Erinn is stunning

Peace Out

Change is in the air....

Things are changing in the Ryan household. The quiet candlelight dinners by the fire are coming to an end. The leisurely Sunday mornings sipping coffee by the pool will be no more. Erinn & Toby will be rejoining us at the end of April and then in May...hold onto to your hats people it is showtime!!! (I borrowed that line from The Philips File) Carey & the Trio are coming to live with us!!!! I am so excited!!!! I have downloaded an app so I can can learn toddler Spanish. We are refinishing Erinn's old kitchen for them. I remembered Brenna's doll cradle in the attic with all the cabbage patch kids. Babies for my Kate!! The tepee will be getting dusted off. Outlet covers need to be replaced. The dogs will be so pumped to see them, all the floor cleanups they will have to be on duty for. Randy will be flying out for the cross country drive with Carey and the kiddos. They will be stopping in ATX to see the Kotar clan. (they plan on kidnapping Hunter shh....) Life is grand.....

Peace Out

Easter Weekend

No coloring of eggs, no new dress, no pretty hat, no egg hunt just yard work, patio cleaning, dog walking, cookie making (those cookies that look like nests) and a Sunday afternoon BBQ with Sheree & Dago. And perhaps the church thing. I am thinking of going all radical and wearing white linen pants tomorrow. There I have said it, I wonder if I can actually do it.

Peace Out

Oh and the oak tree squigglys are back!!

I Love to Garden (well sort of)

Spring is in the air!!! Last week we planted a magnolia tree named Aunt Chloe. Yesterday Judy called to say Home Depot had the patriot red germaniums we both love!! In the past I have used several around the pool for that shock of color but have grown weary of the mess. We did score a few for the front entry. It was a good thing we got there when we did as Judy was on her second trip! I am thinking of adding hostas under Aunt Chloe. My other goal for the front is a fountain. Just this morning as I was being forced by Randy once again to watch HGTV, low and behold....a homemade fountain. All you need is a beautiful pot, some plastic recycles (water bottles, soda etc..), a plastic liner, rocks and a pump. Easy smeasy. So now on to the pot hunt. My azaleas have been looking pitiful but they are loaded with blooms. I am thinking by next weekend we will have a wow in the front yard. Now if only the neighbors would cut down the half dead tree. Speaking of dead, I recycled the blue flowering plant ( a victim of the harsh winter) around the mailbox and the corner of the house, hopefully it will take off. I find it hard to toss almost living things. We have treated the yard for the ever present dollar weed and are thankful we can now water 2x a week. The little bunny who comes to eat the clover under the azaleas hopefully will continue to visit when we have a weed free lawn. I love to garden (well sort of) Oh, whatever you do do NOT look at the backyard!

Peace Out

shiny green laptop

One week ago today my laptop went in the shop. That is 7 days people!!! I miss it's quickness, it's light up keyboard, the touch pad mouse, blogs, my BOOKMARKS!!!!! I should not complain.....it was all my fault. I tripped over the cord and broke the little thingy. Randy had no idea the government agency that shall remain nameless would totally consume his weekend and this week. He is sitting behind me as I type STILL trying to sort things out. Blasted government peeps!!! So when the bill collectors start calling (did I mention the BOOKMARKS!) instead of saying the dog ate my homework I will direct all calls to the government agency that shall remain nameless.

Peace Out

Cold

I am so sick of complaining about the cold. It has become the state (or national) pastime. There are some pretty cool things about the cold; scarfs, sweaters, jackets, velor sweats (one of my personal favs) uggs (love my uggs), soups, fires, snuggling under afghans, straight hair, brisk walks and frisky dogs just to name a few. So for the duration of today I will not complain about the cold.

Peace Out

My friend, Tom

I have thought long and hard about this post, in fact this is my 4th attempt. My dear friend, Tom took his life on Tuesday evening February 9, 2010. He leaves behind his wife, a son, a daughter, Mom & Dad, 4 sisters, 8 nieces & nephews and numerous friends. We meet 22 years ago on Bristol Place. He was a good man and yet.... He made a difference in my life, Randy's life and all my girl's life. He mimicked Erinn perfectly saying runrunfastasyoucanyoucan'tcatchmeIamthegingerbreadman and laughing. He loved to tell Brenna "your turn for dishes" just for the reaction. He was a big brother to Carey. Up until we left NOLA the Stryons & Ryans spent time together and by that I mean just time. It did not have to be a formal occasion, special event, just time. We were able to be "ourselves' with one another, warts and all. I always knew Tom kept a small piece back, after all he grew up in a "no talk/feelings family". In coming to terms with the way his life ended, I believe that small part grew and grew. He was unable to exist any longer with it. We will never know or fully understand the "why". Sure the "reasons" are becoming clearer but not the why. My hope is on that Tuesday evening while he gazed at the stars and Mobile Bay he was at peace, true peace. I will miss him. I loved him. My good friend, Tom.

Peace Out

New beginnings and such

I spent last Wednesday with Erinn at the florist she has chosen for the big day. It made it real, very real, more so then shopping for her gown. She is getting married on December 11, 2010. She really is. I am not ready (emotionally). Will I be ready? Not so sure. The end of my career as a SAHM is really going to be over. I realize motherhood takes on different roles as your children grow. I am so lucky I have wonderful daughters. Actually luck played a hand but mostly it was hard work. Time consuming, emotionally consuming, tons of patience, eyes in the back of the head hard work. I have been able to look at my girls honestly, have seen their finest qualities and their few flaws. I believe we are friends today because of this. I pray they never had one moment of doubt concerning their place in my heart. For their whole lives I have told them "you are my favorite" and they are. Each one for different reasons and those reasons have multiplied as they have grown into women. And now Erinn will be embarking on her new adventure with Andrew, she will be creating her own family. At times I wonder what my place in that new family will be. Frankly it scares me a little. Erinn and I have something special, she is my surprise, she is my "yes children are allowed to have feelings" daughter. My co-sleeper child. My princess child. My cheerleader (in so many ways) Words cannot express how joyful I feel that she is marrying Andrew, her best friend. And yet......

Peace Out

A few Things

A few items of interest around the Ryan house:

* used the gentle leader on Nanook - no pulling, yea!!!!

* not a huge fan of late night tv (the talk shows) but did catch the finale of Conan's Tonight show, he is such a gracious guy and Will Ferrell is a hoot

* this year's "24" promises to be good

* the ignorance of people regarding the CA Prop 8 is mind blowing, I mean having a married lesbian daughter has only enriched my life not ended it

* my last orchid has bit the dust

* I find vacuuming soothing

* I am totally digging the author Michael Connelly - my current fav while being soothed by the vacuum

* the hallway is still not finished and somehow I am not bothered by it

* I do not like to shake hands but I find myself not being grossed out by pulling stranger's hair out of drains, go figure

*I like cake pops

*Randy likes his Blackberry way too much

*I am finding the "The Lost Symbol" very difficult to get into, anyone else?

* heading back into the gym tomorrow, might as well as this system (couch) does not seem to be working

*Lost starts a week from Tuesday

Peace Out

Scaling back

The holidays saw a new Cimi, setting a budget and sticking to it!! I love to buy for my people and love Christmas baubles. The friends I have gifted with in the past I suggested no gifts this year, just time. The gifts I did purchase were mainly on sale. I cheated and got a few gift cards (never again I like the hunt of the gift). I even re-gifted and was open about it. I mean why not share something you love with someone else? I loved the craft exchange (no, Chris we are not drawing names for next year just yet), the elfster exchange, our stocking gifts. These gifts allowed a more personal touch, I like that. We get so bogged down in checking off the list. I even scaled back on my ornaments this year (no pooh one for Erinn :( ) And yet it was one of the nicest Christmas's on record. Hmmm....enjoying family and friends without the gift frenzy. One of the blogs I read (Totally Smitten Mama) celebrates the Winter Solstice and they only gift gently used items that can bring fun to the entire family for many years to come. This year they gave their 4 children musical instruments. And happy faces were seen. Hmm....Other crunchy blogs I read only get and give handmade items. It gave me pause. So this year I am acting on this concept throughout the year. Hand made (when possible) and years use of objects. No more gifting of useless things. Memories.....

Peace Out

New Year, New Goals

Every year I vow to add something to my life. We always think of change being a bad thing yet it normally has positive benefits. Carey put on her list of resolutions "to be more mindful". I like that, to be more aware of how you affect other people. In my job I am very "mindful", it helps I like my job. People are very grateful for the change they getting whether it be a trim, roots or the whole shebang. It is for the most part a happy gig. In my private life like all humans I do at times fall a bit short. I do not feel I explain myself fully enough. So I want to improve my communication skills in this regard. I also want to walk a more spiritual life. And that would include a more dedicated approach to the whole church thing. Now I like going to church, we have an awesome minister. I like the way the Lutheran faith works. The every week thing tends to bog me down, I need to figure this out. I mean it is not like we have such a huge social life. Maybe if I did not have to touch people there. I do not like all the touching which is odd because I never hesitate to shake hands outside of those walls. Hmmm....something to ponder

Peace Out

Bad Blogger

I have received numerous complaints about my lack of blogging. I do apologize to the masses (well 1 or 2 people). I feel I have been going non stop since our return from Austin. Even though my new second job is about an hour a morning that was my online time. My quiet time with my computer and coffee.

We had a totally awesome Christmas visit with Rose, Kim & Rosemary. The week started with Erinn graduating from UF. At the end of the ceremony Randy and I shared a moment with a few tears in the eyes. All 3 of our wonderful daughters have a college degree. Words cannot describe the swell of emotion in me. And that they are all in happy, healthy relationships is another joy. Life is good.

We hosted our first annual tree decorating party with some totally awesome chili. Randy had a great lighting helper and tree selector in Rosemary. An unexpected gift for him. I managed not to micro manage the ornament placement and never once replaced an ornament unless it was threatened by a tail. This day was a keeper.

The ladies went to Disney Village and had a little mouse holiday fun. You know, Disney makes some beautiful Christmas items if only the mouse head was not on everything. Rosemary and I were going to get our picture with Santa but something about feeding reindeer prevented that. A good day.

We made crafts although not the one we really had our eye on, round balloons are hard to come by. We made candies, cookie dough (never did make the cookies) banana bread that was like leven bread. We laughed till our sides hurt. I made up words to Christmas songs, Rosemary cleaned my windows (yes!!) A day filled with good things.

We spent Christmas Eve with cousin Chris & his friend Joyce. I borrowed an idea from Carey & Stephanie and had a "Napa lunch". I even threw in some pigs in the blanket, quite yummy. We all lit the lummanaries and stood back and admired our work. We never did make it to church, just spent the day and evening with family. We ended the day with a viewing of "It's A Wonderful Life" and realized we do have a wonderful life.

Christmas Day started early with some rain. Andrew came over for presents and breakfast (a yummy fritata). A new tradition was started with Andrew joining us this year. A rather nice addition. We spent the day preparing yummy food, enjoying one another, making memories. Dinner was outstanding, a great group of friends and family gathered around the table, only 11 this year, we actually had elbow room. We played our trivia Christmas game after indulging. And then the stockings came. Over the years stockings have become quite the fun tradition. Everyone adds to all stockings, the rule is it must fit in the stocking (well with some spillage). Aunt Sheree wraps her gifts not the rest of us. And then we laugh over what spills out sometimes to the point of tears. Randy always adds the most unusual items since his shopping is done on Christmas Eve morning in auto parts stores, office supply stores and this year he added Walmart. We also do some fun re-gifting of some rather sketchy items we have received over the years. This has become a favorite part of the day for me.

My favorite Christmas memory this year comes from Jack and Nanook. They were laying on the patio on their side, they inched their heads closer until noses were touching, kisses were exchanged with Jack putting his front leg on Nanook (a hug). It was a small moment but summed Christmas up. Family

Peace Out